Musings By Candlelight • Tina Schermer Sellers • Life, Relationships, Sexuality, Faith

I've Moved!

2011-12-13T13:56:00.001-08:00

My blog has moved, please subscribe to my new blog

http://blog.tinaschermersellers.com/

Rilke on Love and Sex

2011-12-04T22:08:00.001-08:00

Tonight a dear friend and chef came over and cooked the quintessential cold winter dinner. The kind that warms you from the inside out. After copious amounts of visual, olfactory, oral and auditory pleasure...Read More

Questions about Sex, God and Snowboarding

2011-11-14T20:34:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I think odd thoughts. Today I was thinking about how my son loves snowboarding. It is the same passion and desire I had as a figure skater. Remembering that love ...Read More

A Failure to Thrive ... marriage in the 21st century

2011-10-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Waiting for my flight I check my email, “Tina, Duane and Ineed to come in to see you ASAP. I foundout he has been communicating with another woman and has had drinks with her acouple of times. I suspect more …” Read More...

Barely Touched - Sexuality and the Single Christian Adult

2011-10-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

“I have nowhere to turn and I have myself all jumbled up inside.” Before me sat a 28 year old Christian woman who had been in a wonderful loving relationship for about a year Read More...

Tools for a Deeply Connected Relationship

2011-09-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

When two people commit to each other they do so believing their love is strong and want it to grow even stronger over time. My dad used to call marriage a Mutual Admiration Society Read More...

Walking the Talk …

2011-09-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

As I prepare for our next Couple’s Sacred Intimacy Retreat as well as a couple of upcoming talks, I find myself thinking about the eight couple’s that bravely ventured into the vulnerable world of intimacy at our last retreat in March. Read More...

Basic Christianity ... NOT Christian Extremists

2011-08-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

Few things printed in the public press inspire me … and how I love to be inspired! But today a colleague passed along this op-ed on the Rev John Stott who died recently.
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Need more joy? Take 5

2011-08-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

Failure to take pleasure in the good things in life dishonors the gifts or accomplishments that deserve appreciation. It also dishonors your desire to know joy.
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We don’t have much time … we better go slow!

2011-07-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

Except for paying attention, what else is continual prayer?
Poet Samuel Green

How often do you let the sense of being rushed prevent you from enjoying the moments you have ... with your friends, with your children, with your beloved? Read More...

Longing for the Silly and Holy

2011-07-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

What I Know
by Lee Robinson
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When Love is a Breathtaking Vista

2011-07-05T13:13:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had one of those moments when your heart is overwhelmed with joy? Like a flame, the feeling bursts from your center and spreads like a swelling wave across the rest of your body? Read More...

Next Couple's Intimacy Retreat ........................ Sept 22-25, 2011 at the beautiful Pan Pacific Hotel, Seattle

2011-06-14T17:47:00.000-07:00

September 22-25, 2011 at the Pan Pacific Hotel on South Lake Union, Seattle
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The Enigma of Love

2011-06-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

…do you know how much I love you? …do you know how grateful I am that you are in my life? …that you love me so? …that you are there when I call - always with an unwavering fierce love and undivided support?
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Will the real Christian please stand up? A Conversation of Sex and Religion

2011-05-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Question: Okay Tina, I thought of you when I saw this on the daily show (am I going to think of you now every time I see something about sex?) Read More...

Sacred Sex - Highlights Hebrew Style

2011-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Eight of Eight - Highlights Hebrew Style
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The ever-loaded premarital sex question …

2011-05-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Question from a reader:
Dear Tina,
I've read some of your material that discusses how the church’s teaching that sex outside of marriage is "bad" leads to violence. The Bible talks plenty about fornication and lust, etc. What exactly is your view on premarital sex and heavy petting when two single people are dating?
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Beloved Sex - A New Covenant Sexual Life

2011-04-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Seven of Eight

This is the seventh in a series of eight blogs which share powerful SEX POSITIVE Read More...

Eros – the physical expression of extravagant love

2011-04-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

Recently I sat in one of my favorite places on the planet – a place of such creative extravagance that it is impossible to not inhale the presence of God. Read More...

Desire – Can We Be Trusted?

2011-03-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

You do not have to be afraid of emotions for Eros is the true healer. You only need to cultivate the passions that bind you to others and to the living world.
-Carl Jung
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Who Comes to a Couples Intimacy Retreat???

2011-02-18T14:00:00.000-08:00

In preparation for our Gift of Sacred Sexuality Couples Retreat March 24 - 27 at the beautiful Heathman Resort and Spa in Kirkland, I have been talking to couples all over the U.S. The other day a delightful man, John, said to me, "What is it ... group therapy? Am I going to have to talk about weird stuff?!"
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The Vow of 'Onah and Other Jewish Attitudes About Sex

2011-02-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Six of Eight - The Vow of 'Onah and Other Jewish Attitudes About Sex

This is the sixth in a series of eight blogs which share powerful SEX POSITIVE Read More...

Can Erotic Love be Passionate, Sensual and Holy?

2011-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Five of Eight – Song of Songs

This is the fifth in a series of eight blogs which share powerful SEX POSITIVE Read More...

Passion - it is so fun to live!

2011-01-19T15:54:00.001-08:00

Last weekend I spoke at a day-long couple's seminar. My workshops were called "Dancing in the Sheets - Claiming God's Gift of Sexual Passion." It was a blast! There is nothing like a huge room stuffed with couples all wanting more ... more connection in their marriage, more meaning-filled sex, Read More...

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T14:15:00.001-08:00

Over the next few months I will be launching some new opportunities for individuals and couples interested in expanding sacred sexuality in their lives.Read More...

The Cherubs in the Holy of Holies of the Jerusalem Temple

2010-11-29T17:36:00.000-08:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Four of Eight - The Cherubs in the Holy of Holies of the Jerusalem Temple
This series of eight blogs shares powerful SEX POSITIVE Read More...

Entering the Holy Tabernacle and Entering Sacred Union

2010-11-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Three of Eight - Entering the Holy Tabernacle and Entering Sacred Union

This series of eight blogs shares powerful SEX POSITIVE Read More...

The Story of Mirrors

2010-10-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

A Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression
Blog Two of Eight – The Story of Mirrors

This series of eight weekly blogs shares powerful SEX POSITIVE stories from our Judeo/Christian heritage. Read More...

Sex Shame and the Church - The Eclipse of God's Gift

2010-10-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

Blog Series - God’s Hope in the Gift of Sexual Desire and Sexual Expression

Blog One of Eight
This series of eight blogs shares powerful SEX POSITIVE stories Read More...

Living In ... and Safeguarding Abundance

2010-08-25T15:59:00.000-07:00

A community economy is not an economy in which well-placed persons can make a 'killing'. It is an economy whose aim is generosity and a well-distributed and safeguarded abundance. - Wendell Berry
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Embracing Our Sexuality

2010-05-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

I was recently interviewed by Jennifer Bostrom for the blog spuchablog.wordpress.com - a blog for Campus Housing at Seattle Pacific University. The interview centered around how to cultivate a healthy sexuality integrating sexual beliefs/expression with a Christian faith. Here is the interview:
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90,000 mile tune-up ... aka TURNING 50!

2010-05-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

Turning 50 is an odd thing. The number doesn't fit. If I don't look in the mirror - Read More...

Living Marriage - Living Faith

2010-04-30T13:41:00.000-07:00

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Gal 15:22

Marriage as an invitation into the narrative of God's love - how we respond to this invitation ... in the moment to moment ... exposes our narrative of faith.
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The Spirit of Sanuk

2010-04-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

I was recently in Thailand traveling with my son and his beloved. Like so many times during international travel, I was thrust into the rough edges of contrast between the culture I reside and this new culture. Read More...

The Holy Erotic

2010-02-22T16:49:00.000-08:00

I am sitting on the deck at my temporary Santa Barbara writer's retreat. The sun dances on my eyelids and fills my soul with warm light. Read More...

Your Body ... the incarnation of you

2010-02-02T09:16:00.001-08:00

I have this picture on my screen saver
right now - it speaks of joy, of the
celebration of life, of silliness, of the love of a grandfather for his grandson and of a little boy who adored his "Grand-poop". Read More...

How the Teachings of Sexual Purity Leads to Violence

2009-12-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

"Tina, I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be in the honeymoon phase of my marriage ... and we are both sexually miserable." Tears began to flow down her cheeks. Read More...

Eros and the Force of God Within

2009-11-04T21:36:00.000-08:00

Years ago life presented me with the experience of online dating ... not an experience for the faint of heart ... yet from which I learned a ton, experienced even more ... and somewhere far down the rabbit hole, met my beloved. Read More...

America's Sexual Ethic

2009-10-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

Silence ... just because it cannot be heard, does it have no effect? And ignorance ... no responsibility?

What is the guiding sexual ethic in our country? Read More...

Ruah ... is now

2009-09-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading the book Holy Eros by Whitehead and Whitehead the other day and came across the line: "Scholars today - social scientists as well as theologians - suggest that our hunger for contact with the foundational source of significance is part of what it means to be human." Read More...

It's Your Call

2009-08-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those experiences when you are standing in the presence of someone (or a group of some one's) who believe that they know what YOU should think, believe, care about? Read More...

I hope you dance ...

2009-08-20T23:36:00.001-07:00

I stood holding my daugther's hand tears streaming down my face and hers.
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What is the story ... of your life ... of you?

2009-08-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

A day bits and pieces - parts of a story ...
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Taken Hostage ... musings by Parker Palmer

2009-08-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago I basked on my favorite spot on Orcas Island ... a spot I have visited most years since I was 4. It was over 90 degrees (it is never that hot!) and I was sitting on the edge of Cascade Lake listening to the sound of life's laughter ...Read More...

Saudade

2009-07-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Its evening ... the light is fading ... I feel tired, slow, reflective. I spent the last 24 hours with graduate students and colleagues sharing stories of the human sort and was reminded of a word that has found its resonance in the cords of life over the last year. Saudade. Read More...

In Its Time...

2009-06-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

A while back while re-reading Gayle Brandeis’ book “Fruitflesh” I was reminded again of the luscious sensual wisdom of our bodies. Read More...

Desire … is it of God?

2009-05-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

- Ps 37:4 Read More...

Leash Life ... A Parenting Paradox

2009-05-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

After a series of events I find myself on a ferry, hopping between island life and the mainland reflecting on parenting teenagers. Read More...

The Soul Through Desire Seeks Love

2009-04-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

The soul through desire seeks love, joy and pleasure. Beyond our survival needs, love is our core desire. As children there is a sync between this core desire and what we pursue. Read More...

SEX!!! EDUCATION???

2009-04-08T17:01:00.000-07:00

A Reader Question:

What would a healthy sex education look like inside a truly Christian paradigm? How do we teach our kids about sexuality when we believe our bodies and our sexual desires are a gift from God?

Stubborn Winters

2009-04-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

I don't usually do winter gracefully - I get tired of being cold, I get tired of the gray, I get tired of the waiting ... and tho spring has always come in her time ... like a doubting Thomas, by late winter I always wonder will she leave us this year in our perpetual frozen Narnia? Read More...

Relative Gratefulness

2009-03-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's Spring Break and for the university academic that means time to catch your breath, finally get something done or both. This spring break for me, it is both. Read More...

Delight and Attention ... Communion and Prayer

2009-03-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

"Except for paying attention, what else is continual prayer?"

This is the last line of a poem by Samuel Green that speaks of the acuity of our attention in times of mourning. Read More...

Your Time To Live ...

2009-02-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

Today as I walked around the lake near my home the chill in the air was softened by the sun’s rays reminding me that winter will in the end relent and spring will come. Read More...

The Body Is the Spirit Thickened

2009-01-09T23:50:00.001-08:00

It was a cloudy day and I was riding on a ferry reading Letters to a Young Doctor by Richard Selzer. This is a book written by a surgeon who shares his surprise at how often sacred encounters emerged in his career as a physician. “The body is the spirit thickened.” As I read these words it was as if my whole being resounded “YES!” Read More...

Children learn what they LIVE

2009-01-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl we had a cloth wall hanging in our family room that I remember noticing every day. As I got older and could read, I would read it. Then as I grew to understand more I would read it and think about what it meant and how it related to my experience. Read More...

Women, Mom's and Oxygen Masks

2008-11-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Sitting on the plane waiting to push off for a 9 hour flight, I watch the automated “safety instructions” on the video screen. Today the language is German and the figure demonstrating what to do is a handsome avatar. Read More...

What Children Have to Teach Us about Pure Sensual Joy

2008-10-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

There is something so refreshing and soul nourishing in the innocent observations of children. Before they are infected by societal messages of what or who is appropriate and inappropriate, valued and unvalued and all the judgments regarding what they ‘should’ think and feel. Read More...

Creativity, Sexuality & Mystery

2008-10-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

This mystic Jewish tale takes place in Jerusalem in roughly 500 BC – almost 200 years before Plato and Aristotle
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Three Blind Mice ... and Sex?

2008-10-08T18:13:00.001-07:00

Question from a reader:
“I often see groups in the media proposing the idea that sex addiction is rampant, that pregnancy rates are rising, and that generally speaking people are having sex at increasingly young ages, but are these facts? Read More...

The Stretching Pain ... aka: launching children

2008-10-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

Love, joy, excitement …
pain, worry, fear …
desire, longing, wishing …
missing
Read More...

The Common; The Holy

2008-09-22T21:30:00.001-07:00

A week or so ago a friend of mine delivered her first child. A miracle baby hoped in love, conceived in love, nourished in love and now held in love. I thought today how words like sanctified and holy meant set apart for divine purpose … Read More...

Shame and Sex in America

2008-09-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a question I received from a reader:
"When I look at culture in this country, I see a lot of shame, shame that is attached to sexuality in a fear-based and pathologizing fashion that doesn't seem to be as present in other cultures in the same way. Read More...

The Fire Hose Life ...

2008-08-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

Here was a question sent to me:

As someone who is interested in looking at sexuality from a sex-positive point of view, and marrying that component with the idea of personal responsibility, how can we as a society navigate sexuality without it trampling on the rights of others?

A Failure of Imagination ...

2008-08-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

In the documentary/movie “What the Bleep” an Amazon mythic tale is told of how the people could not see the a ship in their harbor because never in their collective experience had they ever seen anything like a ship. Read More...

Made in the Image of God … sexually???

2008-08-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to be made in the image of God when we think about our sexuality? It seems in order to answer this, I have to wonder again what sexuality is. Or what it is as it relates to the image of God. Read More...

Surprised by Joy ...

2008-08-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

What is joy to you and when do you experience it?

Today was a day when joy spent the day bombarding my senses. Like a relentless mosquito and much more enjoyable, joy kept finding me. Read More...

Contact Information

2007-04-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

Please feel free to contact me with questions, comments, and thoughts regarding information on this blog.

Tina Schermer Sellers, MS, LMFT
Licensed Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, Medical Family Therapist

3307 3rd Ave W, Suite 107
Seattle, WA 98119

questions {at} tinaschermersellers.com