Musings By Candlelight • Tina Schermer Sellers • Life, Relationships, Sexuality, Faith

Thank you Tina!

2011-11-13T22:54:04.221-08:00

Thank you Tina!

Thanks for your response! I feel like I understand...

2011-10-30T22:20:20.863-07:00

Thanks for your response! I feel like I understand better what you were saying before. I absolutely agree that there needs to be open dialogue and specific preparation from someone trusted (rather than the media, friends, the world in general) for people to achieve a happy and healthy sexual relationship within marriage. I'm glad you are raising your voice to help.

Rachel – Thank you for your comment … and believe ...

2011-10-30T15:12:23.307-07:00

Rachel –
Thank you for your comment … and believe it or not, I agree it is reasonable “to expect young adults to remain virtuous before they are married.” I think it is wonderful not only to have expectations for our kids to wait to become sexually intimate until they are older (a young adult), in the freedom and safety of a deeply committed relationship … but to also raise them to understand why God wishes for them to experience their sexuality as a delicious healing and transcendent gift of His Love. Sexual intimacy can only be a bonding transcendent experience in the safety of loving commitment and there are real reasons why this is. Other conditions need to be taught as well.
I write about ‘how’ to teach and model these relationship conditions throughout a child/adolescent’s life AND why this training is absolutely critical. The reality is that young adults are marrying on average between 26 – 28 and by the age of 20 90% of young adults ARE already sexuality active. They are having sexual experiences and absorbing what culture is feeding them … much of which conditions them for sexual ignorance and sexual pain in marriage. My question is that without careful loving specific spiritually integrated sex education throughout a child’s life … how many sexually active young adults/adults are having the kind of sexual experience and kind of committed relationship that God desires to bless them with?? From my practice and teaching I can tell you that the vast amount of Christian’s prior to and AFTER marriage are not experiencing the sexual relationship that God intends. There is enormous shame, confusion and pain. This is NOT pain caused just because kids are having sex before marriage … it is because of the silence and shame that we give youth when we give them no instruction, no safe conversations, no help in navigating our confused and superficial culture … nothing but a static expectation. “You are expected to not have sex until you are married”. Period. That is not enough! If we want youth to exercise self-control - we need to help them understand what God wants to give them, how to prepare and what they are waiting for ... specifically. AND we need to be a safe place of grace and wisdom as they make mistakes in their learning process. Here are more articles about this issue: http://tinaschermersellers.blogspot.com/search/label/sexual%20health

I agree with you on some of this. I do believe tha...

2011-10-28T12:35:54.076-07:00

I agree with you on some of this. I do believe that sexuality is a beautiful, God-given part of ourselves. However, this is a gift that comes with responsibility, and one that God has set specific boundaries with. I can't agree that it is unreasonable to expect young adults (or any age, for that matter!) to remain virtuous before they are married. That is the philosophy of men. Our purpose in this life is to master ourselves--to make our body subject to our spirit, rather than the other way around. That's one reason why God asks us to delay sexual relations (not just intercourse) until marriage--not because it should be easy, but because the difficulty of it builds qualities in ourselves that He wants us to have.

YES. Yes, yes.

2011-10-27T23:56:36.833-07:00

YES.

Yes, yes.

I've heard many good things about the book &qu...

2011-08-22T23:20:12.151-07:00

I've heard many good things about the book "basic Christianity" and maybe I should give it a go. Looks like you are doing well and Happy! I'm still madly in love with my High School Love and we're working on Number 30!
Keep up the good work Tina
Dennis

Thank you, Tina, for writing this tribute. I love...

2011-08-22T22:23:15.414-07:00

Thank you, Tina, for writing this tribute. I loved John Stott when in college, along with Francis Schaeffer....both profoundly shaped my thinking and being and believing. Now I want to go check my bookshelf to see if Basic Christianity is still there among my "70's" books, some of which are still very contemporary....others....not so much.

Good one!! I am going to try this....

2011-08-22T00:30:49.722-07:00

Good one!! I am going to try this....

Love this - thanks. Just FYI for others - the crux...

2011-05-31T08:49:17.722-07:00

Love this - thanks. Just FYI for others - the crux of the deal on the second video starts at about 2:00 min.

Tina, I love you. Thank you for writing so profou...

2011-05-24T22:38:34.765-07:00

Tina, I love you. Thank you for writing so profoundly and with such grace and wisdom.

Hi Becky Jo - of course. I fixed the link in the ...

2011-05-11T14:19:36.147-07:00

Hi Becky Jo - of course. I fixed the link in the blog. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. You can also search the Other Journal with my name.

Hello! From what I can tell, the link to the artic...

2011-05-11T11:22:23.299-07:00

Hello! From what I can tell, the link to the article above goes to theotherjournal.com, but not to a specific article. Can you tell us the title so we can find it? Thank you so much!

Thanks, Tina. As always, you're offering grace...

2011-01-03T08:43:24.519-08:00

Thanks, Tina. As always, you're offering grace and a much needed perspective!

Can't wait for that last week of our month. Ca...

2011-01-02T07:23:04.380-08:00

Can't wait for that last week of our month. Can't you post it ahead of that date?

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what you wrote. Thank you!

2010-10-26T23:20:57.689-07:00

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what you wrote. Thank you!

Many issues have been tackled here. Thanks for giv...

2010-06-24T18:00:31.515-07:00

Many issues have been tackled here. Thanks for giving clarity to several questions that have long lingered in my mind.

Happy Birthday Tina!

2010-05-08T07:45:35.497-07:00

Happy Birthday Tina!

"...Drenched in the sweat of sanuk." I l...

2010-04-10T14:53:31.803-07:00

"...Drenched in the sweat of sanuk." I love this! When I was in Thailand my friend gave me this Thai name! Sanuk. Quite the compliment.

What a gift. I am so glad you were able to go soak in a new place with new people and ideas!

So sorry to hear of your loss. What a beautiful p...

2010-03-11T11:26:42.611-08:00

So sorry to hear of your loss. What a beautiful post.

I just got wonderfully lost in your writing, and i...

2010-02-04T22:06:42.446-08:00

I just got wonderfully lost in your writing, and it was amazing, powerful and left tears in my eyes. Glad you are back to writing. Enjoy your sabbatical :)

Beautiful! Our bodies are our vessels in this life...

2010-02-03T19:37:00.893-08:00

Beautiful! Our bodies are our vessels in this life. I need to more fully embrace mine.

So sorry to hear about your father :( My heart breaks when I hear news like that. Can't people just be with us forever and can't we all just die at the same time? He sounds like such a wonderful model.

Tina, I love it. And you. As you know this is my ...

2009-12-10T17:28:27.427-08:00

Tina,

I love it. And you. As you know this is my story, too - and it ultimately led to my divorce in many ways. I thank God, whoever she is, for your courage to keep talking about this on the campus and with all of us!

-Cami

Amen! I hope it is okay that I posted a link to ...

2009-10-14T18:14:06.146-07:00

Amen!

I hope it is okay that I posted a link to your blog on my facebook page. Your work is so refreshing, Tina. Thank you!

I want to live into this, practice this sexual ethic... for me and for my daughters and for her daughters.

I love this, Mama. It is beautiful. I miss you bey...

2009-10-05T12:02:54.416-07:00

I love this, Mama. It is beautiful. I miss you beyond words. xoxox

tina--i adore this sweet poignant post. lee ann w...

2009-08-21T08:23:01.915-07:00

tina--i adore this sweet poignant post. lee ann womack's song is one of my very favorites.

wishing you peace and comfort and lots of dancing as you send your little sweetie off to college.

fondly,
kayce